A Change Is Gonna Come

I woke up this morning and felt a change. I woke up with renewed strength and resolve. After my talk with Kei last night (a few posts below) I felt something "click". I know that when I finally make my mind up about something I am an unstoppable force and can accomplish anything. But it's getting to that point, that decision, that place where things finally shift.

I feel different, energized. I plan to just get out and shoot. I need to update and redesign my website so this weekend in SF should be a good jump start.

This past weekend was the Palo Alto Artists' Fair. I spoke with five photographers whose work caught my eye and then emailed them. Four of them emailed me back and are very willing to share their knowledge. I am supposed to go shoot with one of them this weekend.

We're going to San Francisco for the long weekend and Sunday, I'll take the car and drive down to Santa Cruz to meet the photographer; we're planning a sunset shoot. I sold my car before moving out here so we only have one car, unless I want to get up at 5:30 am and drive Kei to work.....so, I pretty much walk everywhere. :)

Our apartment is so close to downtown, the Caltrain to SF, shops, restaurants and the Stanford Theater. It is an old-style theater that plays movies from the golden era. Fred Astaire, Marlene Dietrich, Audrey Hepburn, etc. Check out the photos and video below. Only $7 for a double feature.

Project #1 - Cars

For my first photography project I've given myself I've been taking close ups of some of the really old cars here (since they don't rust like in the NorthEast) and some of the cool ones as well. I think the last one is particularly interesting. Comments welcome.

Someone built this Bat-Pod from a kit and drives it around town.

Stylin' Off University

Here are some photos of our cozy apartment.

 

Late Night Pep Talk

So, it's after midnight and I can't sleep. After two weeks of flying around in a million different directions and getting frustrated with my lack of confidence, connections, and ideas to re-start my photography business, I had a long pep talk with Kei.

I feel like I have so much to do and learn and there are 50 things I should be doing right now to make it all happen. I am so frustrated. I did this once, why can't I do it again? I had my own successful photography business in Boston, why not in California? I just need to take it one step at a time and play a little catch up.

The equipment may be newer, there are new post-processing techniques, methods, etc. but I can't keep ignoring the signs either. The last three "corporate" jobs I had (while still doing my photography on the side) had me taking photos for all of their websites and my photography on the walls. Hmmm......I would all of a sudden have a bad day at work and a photographer I used to assist with would call me up and ask if I was still available. A friend of a friend was getting married and would I shoot the wedding? Each of these without any marketing, etc. Something keeps pointing me down this road, why won't I just listen?

It's the ghosts of childhood's past, bad bosses, boyfriends, coworkers, you name it. We've all had them. People who beat the idealism and optimism out of you. Well, no more. To quote Twisted Sister, "We're not gonna take it!" I'm tired of second guessing myself. I know I can do this, mostly because I have before but also because I believe in myself, Finally. Oh, there will still be naysayers but I don't have time to listen to them, I have a lot to do.

Right now, I just had a moment that took me back more than 20 years. In the dark by the light of my computer, I looked at the clock and it is 12:34. I had a friend in Junior High who told me that she very often looked at the clock then, 1, 2, 3, 4. After she told me that, very soon thereafter, I did too and still do to this day, like just now. Thanks Marcia for making me smile. :)

Moments like that that make you stop and think about how silly it is to take life so seriously when it is so fleeting, so temporary; make you re-evaluate. Why am I so worried about this? So what if I crash and burn? At least I tried and then I'll move on to the next thing. At least I tried and now I know. And to quote GI Joe (why not, I've already quoted Twisted Sister, why stop now?) "Knowing is half the battle." The flip side is if I never stop flitting around and don't focus and try, I'll never be the success I know I can be.

I'm lucky that Kei listens and offers helpful, sage advice. He doesn't tell me what to do, he just offers words of wisdom and gentle nudges. A lot of what he said makes sense. Ultimately I am the only one I can blame for my failures or take credit for my successes. Nothing in the past matters, move past it and do what you want, become what you want.

I'm going to bed now. All this philosophizing has tired me out. Tomorrow is another day (bonus points if anyone knows the movie). And I promise to make more of it and every day from now, life is too short. Carpe Diem! Sorry, I just can't seem to stop with the movie quotes...